Squeeze - Hold - Don’t Move - Breathe Lightly.
In a meeting, on a date, at a party, or on an airplane-
we’ve all gotten really good at holding in farts.
I don’t mean to be sensational, or gross, or attention seeking with this message. I want to TALK about the energetics and physical impacts of controlling our bodies’ functions. The suppression, the holding, the stress, the fear, the pain.
When I worked in an office, I would get ready in the morning- prepare my lunch, make sure I was showered (enough) to be presentable, and I would survey my closet for an appropriate outfit:
No, not those pants- too grubby.
No, not that blouse, too boob-y.
No, not those shoes- too groovy.
On most days I landed on skinny black pants, and a sweater.
Then, I’d sit. I’d sit in the car, I’d sit through my lunch, I’d sit through meetings. I’d sit, and sit, and the food in my system would churn against my waistband. Inevitably (and rightfully!) my constricted belly would build up gas.
And there was NO world in which I would let it pass. No way. Not in the office, not even once. I’d endure moan-worthy pain rather than let it pass, sometimes for hours on end.
Who here hasn’t felt this? Who hasn’t held their body so tightly to avoid embarrassment. Who hasn’t gripped every muscle you can find in your pelvis, had pangs of discomfort through your whole belly?
This is not in service of our bodies.
And how did I (we) get to this point in the first place?
Choosing binding work’fits that are ~appropriate~, sitting in a chair ~nice and tall~ sucking in our bellies to be ~proper~, adhering so tightly to a prescription of comportment that NEVER includes:
rolling on the floor,
stretching your bod,
wearing crop tops,
tooting when your body has the urge,
eating as you need to when you need to,
yawning,
humming,
singing
—even standing can attract some odd looks in the office!
Why is it that we can’t honor our whole bodies, especially when many of our bodies are ‘at work’ for the majority of our time? We put on a behavioral and literal costume that restricts so much of our humanity and makes us willfully ignore our body’s needs.
This is an invitation to notice when you are clinging, preventing a normal healthy body function, or suppressing a part of you. I encourage you to explore what it means to show up fully, with your whole body, to life.
For those of us who bleed, what would happen if we stopped plugging up our menstruation? Can we test out life without tampons or silicone cups? Meet our blood, welcome the release, allow the down and out.
Can you pee when you feel the urge, sneeze and cough (safely) without editing yourself? And for the love of your pelvis, can you find some way to honor your digestion and let the gas pass?